Today I really struggled to keep my head in a positive place. After some meditation and looking to my Inner Guide for some direction – I can equate my mood to 2 things:
1. This week the focus is on Relationships. Yikes! When following this crazy path to Love, you make the realisation that we are all Love and that our purpose it to be a vehicle for Love. However, how do you get past all of the crap that happened to you? How do you forgive all of the wrongs, all of the grudges, the petty, the small, the massive, them all. How?
All of my reading (from this course and other sources) points back to the same big concept… Forgiveness, the real kicker to living a Love-centred life. Forgiveness of self, people in your life, circumstances – it is 100% necessary in order to advance to a higher vibration and higher frequency for manifestation.
And then there’s this…
it’s important to commit to releasing the victim mentality. If you honestly want to release your resentment, you have to no longer want to be the victim. We often get caught in the role of victim because the ego thrives on it. Getting out of this role requires a commitment to see things differently.
This is where I struggle, but that in itself is a MAJOR indication that I need to DIVE in and do some serious work! I will put my hand way up and say I have been in victim mode for sure, I have had stuff happen to me in my life (pretty sure I’m not the only one). Don’t you just want to stamp it on your forehead sometimes? “S%!+ happened to Me!!!!!” Just to be acknowledged, for someone to say, “I understand it was hard for you.” Just for someone to validate that what you experienced was unfair and unjust. And by the way, your “thing” that has brought you into victim mode can be anything from someone breaking into your car, to being mugged, to losing at a game of charades, to being dumped on your Birthday, to losing a finger (or worse) to a disease, etc. “Why Me?”
However, I can step outside of my own life and witness first hand how this ‘victim’ mentality worked for me… It didn’t. I just attracted more of the same into my life.
See where I’m going with this? This is some seriously deep and hard stuff to process. So there is number 1 for you.
2. When you work so hard at something and put so much effort forth to move in a more positive direction in your life, there has to be some hiccups along the way. For me, I felt really angry with myself today for not being able to shift out of my mood for pretty much the whole day (and in turn could not see the wonderful ness around me throughout the day). Good grief I have been working so diligently and this “happiness” stuff generally comes easy to me. But right there I can acknowledge old patterns of perfectionism. I have always set high standards for myself, not in being better than anyone else or because i have something to prove to anyone, but because I know deep down that I am capable of great things if I put in the effort. So when I don’t, I get mad. At me.
Old habits die hard.
So I am taking another day to get my head around this next weeks work, and tomorrow is a new day to pick myself up and keep moving forward.
Some really powerful affirmations from today’s reading that I will stamp overtop of the other crap on my forehead…
I could see peace instead of this.
I’d rather be happy than right.
I am not the victim of the world I see.
That is all, I am only human, born to make mistakes 🙂